reaching for the stars... and making a mark..

My birthday week is over.. topped off by a fun filled dinner (with wine pairings) with my two Mikes..  who presented me with a professional "torch" .. that will keep me from setting the oven on fire while making "mikes campfire cupcakes" because I am trying to brown the marshmallows in the oven using the boiler.. We ate, drank and discussed celebrating "the girls" when my surgeries are all completed.. 
.
.....on the way home my sweet Tim and I talked about true friends and how some people become important parts of your lives while others barely make a mark.... we are blessed with good and loving friends.. we all seem to have a common cause.. to reach for the stars..

...my two Mikes are involved with the Melonhead Foundation which helps families of children with cancer.. keep the lites on.. keep the car running... reach the stars when people are having trouble even seeing them in a black sky..

..over the next few weeks things are going to be hectic.... getting up early to walk run this week.. at least twice is my goal... Tim and I are walking the 5K this upcoming weekend at Ironwood Golf Course for TEAM WISH .. the Anthem Susan G Komen 3-day walkers... my #1 lotus blossom daughter Julia is a part of this team...and this will be her 3rd year.. her comment after the first year "It changed my life".. and because of them.. other lives have been changed...

..as of this year they have raised a million dollars.. can you imagine.. a small team of people pulled together 6 years ago with a common cause.. determined to change the world... reaching for the stars.. and setting new goals each day ..month... year and they have changed peoples lives..

goals set... reached day by day.. week by week.. next is the Susan G Komen 5K on 10/10/10.. . my team radiated cupcakes was started by a co worker ... determined to change the world .. reaching for the stars... pulled together with a common cause...

..some people become important parts of your lives.. reaching for the stars... setting their goals.. while others barely leave a mark.. which one are you?  Leave a mark.. reach for the stars.. set your goals.. don't give up... sink into the breath and let it carry you up and up ... till you are not just reaching those stars.. you are one..

lead with your heart for a new beginning ..

My official birthday is almost over and my youngest lotus blossom daughter posted this on facebook today

tonight is the fall equinox....a time to let go of a little something that may be holding you back/down and in turn lead with your heart for a new beginning =)



An equinox occurs twice a year, when the tilt of the Earth's axis is inclined neither away from nor towards the Sun, the center of the Sun being in the same plane as the Earth's equator. The term equinox can also be used in a broader sense, meaning the date when such a passage happens..

Today was a crazy day full of things due, beautiful flowers and lots of cards, text messages and emails of good wishes..  fun presents and some cake.. my lunch was a favorite slice from Yo Pauly's which is a pizza joint that my work family just loves.. crazy day and lots of work.. I was exhausted by the time I left to rush home..

.. tonight my sweet Tim and I were headed to a great restaurant for a wonderful romantic birthday dinner.. but by the time we got home and looked at the clock.. it would have been nothing short of a sprint to get there on time..  so we did the next best thing.. we canceled.. and decided to have a picnic.. We split a giant double cheese burger with EVERYTHING ON IT and onion rings and birthday celebratory milk shakes..

We kicked our shoes off and sat next to each other and loved every morsel.. no candles.. no music.. no fancy restaurant.. ....just sweet Tim and sinful nummy cheeseburgers, crunchy onion rings and a big chocolate milkshake.. the stress fell away and everything was right in the world.. with my sweet Tim and nummy sinful cheeseburgers..

tonight is the fall equinox....a time to let go of a little something that may be holding you back/down and in turn lead with your heart for a new beginning =)

tomorrow starts a new year.. another birthday on the way..new beginnings and passages... I am ready to jump right in.. with sweet Tim and sinful nummy cheeseburgers..

Here is to birthdays, new beginnings and letting your heart lead......Happy birthday to me! 

can I help you with that bag ....mam??...

ok..maybe I am a little sensitive.. my body is over reacting to the anti inflammatory I have to take to get up and move around during my reconstruction..... and I am swelling up like a little sausage.. I am tired.. it is too hot.. my feet hurt.. and I am having another birthday tomorrow... so when the "bag boy" or the "catch that item and bag it guy" who looked 8 .. said to me.. "Mam.. can I help you with that bag"... I almost ...almost.. tried to run over his foot with the cart..

but I stopped myself.. took a deep breath in... blew all the darkness out.. and replied.. "thank you but I have it"..

I did not empty the cart and send it on its way across the parking lot to slam into another "mam's" car that was parked there... I walked it to the cart area and put it away... I made sure that I blew out the "I feel sooooo old today" thoughts and counted my blessings..I am having another birthday tomorrow... so.. its all good... "thank you .. but I have it"... :)  

It is ok to have days you are glad are over.. as long as you have days.. 

birthday adventures - good times.. good times..

Today I was stolen by some of my team...for a birthday celebration..  "be at this place at this time and don't google it" Paula in charge emailed me.. 

....I promised I wouldn't google .. and I did not.. I do not think they believed me.. but I did not google.  My sweet Tim... in on it to the end ... would not let me even map quest it and gave me directions..

So after my run, a shower and a little nap, I took of to "Gooseberries".. which is on 7th street just south of Thunderbird..to discover a wonderful tea place full of china cups and odds and ends..

I love tea places and my "girls" and I have gone to a couple places off and on over the years to celebrate holidays or birthdays.. but most have closed and we have been busy and it is not as easy to sneak away.. but today they gave up their Saturday to sneak away for me..

They snuck away for me and treated me to a wonderful lunch which ended in of course my emotional telling them that they were incredible and I could not be more happy to have them to celebrate a birthday with me..

I found myself looking at them and realizing although they are so different in many ways.. they are exactly the same in others.. they have a sincerity about them that is hard to miss if you know them well.. and I know them well.. as their supervisor it is my job to protect and guide them but I find that they circle round me as my shield when I need it.. my circle of wonder women protection.. one of my blessings but with lots of parts and pieces..

As we walk our path of life,

We meet people everyday.

Most are simply met by chance.

But, some are sent our way.

and if you are lucky like me.. and if you are blessed like me.. you sneak away to tea parties with those sent your way..

Planning birthdays and learning to breath..

I celebrate a birthday next week... Celebrating Birthdays - the new Cancer mantra ..

When I was diagnosed with my first bout of cancer.. I remember clearly driving home and talking to God.. I asked him for two more years.. just two so that I could get everything and everyone ready... myself included.. I told him.. if you give me 2 more years.. I think I can get everything ready.. and then I did not..

I mean I started....I wanted to make sure my children realized how much a part of their stepfather's life they were and I was obsessed I believe with telling them.. they had to take care of him if I left them....I came to realize what love is.. not just the fleeting kind.. but the deep, caring love that you feel for friends and family that is real, concrete, solid... but once you are diagnosed with Cancer.. sometimes you get so caught up in the fight.. the exhaustion from chemo and radiation...  you forget your tearful promises.. and need to be reminded....

2 years passed and the fear started to go away.. 3 years passed and I started to feel a calling for different goals..but not really..there was always something that had to be done or fixed.. biopsies came and went.. all clear...I mean I started but not really.. 

Then I got my reminder... that I haven't got everything ready... a reminder that if I want to keep celebrating years and birthdays... I need to keep my promises..that my life is changing and if I keep my promises.. promises will be kept to me as well..

I am getting a chance to have another birthday and constantly amazed by the people that surround me and what they can achieve each day..  I have found the light within me..learning to breath..  and I am seeing that same light in others.. It is all in the breath.. a birthday everyday.. a deep breath in.. a slow breath out.. push out the darkness and bring in the light..

Celebrating birthdays... day by day celebrations really.. learning to breath all over again.. having courage to over come fears and now to help others over come them as well.. reminder.. I need to add that to my promises.. sink into the breath... Happy Birthday to me..no candles needed.... I have my own glow and my  light is on..

Look up .. there is the goal.. stop counting the steps.. look up..

It has been a crazy week... last injection Friday, ran/walked with my running group on Saturday.. I was miserably sore and stretched.... but friendship and encouragement and challenges always make me feel better.. my running buddy Kathy sticks close by.. encouraging.. her husband along with her..

they give me little adjustments.. " .. breath in through your nose... blow out through your mouth.. purse your lips...  look up.. look up"  I have a tendency to put my head down and plow forward.. determined to get through it.. Kathy and hubby are teaching me to look at the goal.. and stop counting the steps.. you get there faster..

we make a team within a team.. Kathy, hubby and I.... one or two people.. or a group of 10... = same goals.. I love being on a team..

this week I was able to help put together some last minute teams in order to take over management of a couple communities.. and after a day of crazy challenges, old pieces of pizza late in the afternoon, cleaning, organizing...I realized that I was practicing my newly learned running techniques.. purse lips... breath in through nose ..blow out through mouth.. look up.. look up at the goal.. I noticed my work buddies helping each other run an entire different race than the one that I ran on Saturday..I realized again that it helps to look up.. to focus on the goal and not put your head down to watch your feet.. look up and see all that is around you.. laughing co workers, all working on the same team.. with the same goals.. brain storming... making things work... I love being on a team.

Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are.”
Bernice Johnson Reagon quotes (American Historian and Musician. b.1942)

outside of the box... step by step..stair by stair..... become yourself .. if you dare

Tonight is a night for poems and deep thoughts... another friend with a loved one fighting cancer..I am told today..  we can no longer do nothing.. if that is what we have been doing.. we must act in every way we can..... we must.. we must... it is too much to bear tonight and my love for my friends and family overwhelm me.. so lucky and blessed am I..

There are changes coming in my life.. it seems so very clear....

I know they are there.. sneaking around the corner.. coming slowly near....

I am strong and have the courage to fight my biggest fears.... come on changes.. I am right here!


one of my favorites - MY COMFORT ZONE ~ By Author Unknown

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I wouldn't fail.

The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.

I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,

But stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.


I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.

I said I didn't care for things like commission checks and such.

I claimed to be so busy with the things inside the zone,

But deep inside I longed for something special of my own.


I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win.

I held my breath; I stepped outside and let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,

I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.



If you're in a comfort zone, afraid to venture out,

Remember that all winners were at one time filled with doubt.

A step or two and words of praise can make your dreams come true.

Reach for your future with a smile; success is there for you!
 
 
Outside of your box.. step by step .. stair by stair.. become yourself.. if you dare.

"are this a little high??" and other areas of concern..

My boobs are too high..

yep..yep... they are.. I have one more trip to "never give up" Leighton for 80 ccs more of sloshing saline solution and I am at my 500 ccs.. which is where I want to be. I feel like I have golf balls in my arm pits, my "port has moved", I am cranky, my shoulders hurt..blah blah blah...and I am stretched from my collar bone to my arm pits to my rib cage..

For those are wondering if I will have to be a survivor with breasts up to my throat...not true.. I am stretching and growing new skin...making room under my chest wall muscle... I have been assured that although not to my knees as most woman my age.. my new boobies will be reasonably placed and not at my neck..

...the best part of the week my taking chocolate cappuccino cupcakes to the doctors office and getting emails from the entire staff including Leighton with descriptions that they were the best they had ever had.. reminder.. that is how I want my boobies... the best I have ever had.

Such silly things to worry about.. I am cancer free today.. I am cancer free today.. but so many are not and the fight continues.. adding warriors every day.. EVERY DAY..

This last week I became aware that 3 wonderful women that I am associated with.. fellow survivors as well as first time fighters have cancer.. 3 wonderful women...


no family history = stage 3, double mastectomy with chemo and radiation...

cervical cancer = a young mother having to make decisions no one should make..

a survivor = with returning cancer that may be in bone..


..and I complain and am cranky....and feel guilty because I am so blessed ...and so lucky and so here.. my boobs could be on my head.. and I am still here.. not vomiting from chemo, not burning from radiation, not trying to explain to young children that I have cancer...

Yep my boobs are too high and I am cancer free today...

a lesson on how to survive and running buddies..

Many of you know ....if you are a face book buddy or a good friend that I belong to a run/walk group here in Anthem called the Cupcake Runners..  started by a few gals (the bakers) that decided they were going to be runners.. complete not compete . and turned loose every Saturday morning women (and some men) of all shapes and sizes with one thing in common.. to show "they could do it".. no matter if it were a block, from one light pole to the next, walk run walk run..

.....because of their support I ran the Emma's Run 5K.. me ..me ...who never thought of herself as a runner.. ran a 5K.. and through them .. the cupcakes... I was introduced to Irma..

Irma doesn't know about that day because I was blocks behind her on a Saturday morning.....

We were running the relay route and one of the "bakers" from the cupcake group slowed down and ran with me to encourage me...

"keep going Mary... 60 more seconds.. you can do anything for a minute'" she said.. I not only did not believe her at that minute..but really for a moment thought.. "I 'm not sure if I like this at all.. someone running next to me.. making me not give up..".. then she said this.. "See the girl ahead of us?".. "yes, I replied"... "That's Irma...She has breast cancer and she ran the 1/2 PF Chang after her surgery..two weeks Mary.. after her surgery".. "really?? I replied... "Yep she said.. really... you know Mary.. you can do anything for 60 seconds.. just go 60 seconds more".. "ok.. sixty seconds more.. ok." 

and I did it.. I did it because of Irma.. We meet for real at the 2010 Cancer Relay for Life event.. as survivors we joined the cupcake team to raise money to fight cancer... walked the track together as survivors... and have become friends with much in common..we have found that spiritually we are very alike.. we laugh a lot... and we both are blessed by a loving support group, friends and family.. ...she is my "meet at Starbucks Green Tea" buddy.  She probably doesn't know I ran Emma's Run 5K because of her..  

I am sharing an article with you about Irma.. my Green Tea buddy, one of my blessings and how she turned to her running group "the cupcakes" for support.. not knowing that was exactly what she was giving to someone a few blocks behind her.. 'sixty seconds more".. is going to add  up to a lifetime of never giving up.. enjoying life... and a thank you to Irma..

http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fsharing.mayoclinic.org%2F2010%2F08%2F24%2Firma-p-far-fro&h=1d45f