Today I said goodbye to my friend Linda.. along with hundreds of others..caregivers.. cancer survivors.. cancer fighters all gathered in the embrace of St. Rose's Catholic Church.. an embrace much like Linda's on Saturday mornings when I would see her.. during a run.. after a walk.. at Starbucks ..warm.. welcoming.. full of spirit and determination.. If you did not have on lime green Team Wish shirt.. you were given a Team Wish bandanna to wear around your neck.. that proudly proclaimed "Walking in Spirit and Hope"..
The priest read a message to us from her husband in which he wrote that he could not understand why she would be taken from us.. so vibrant .. so young.. and that the only thing he could think of was that Linda was tired of waiting for a cure.. and decided to have a "one on one" conversation with God about that.. We all laughed.. it was the only time that I stopped crying. I have written about finding "normal" and I thought how ironic things in our lives can be as I left the church to go to my 6 month check up with my breast surgeon..
As she asked the questions of "what vitamins are you taking?" .."any pain or trouble with movement.. problems with hardness or scaring?"... I wanted to say .."before I answer those can you tell me...how could this have happened?.. How after years and years of remission can cancer come back and kill you in 5 weeks? How was I so lucky to have made Linda's acquaintance.. and had her hugs and prayers..even for this short time?...will this happen to me??..will I have made an impact on the people in my life.. will they remember me for good or bad?.. do I look as scared as I am??
But my list of questions went away as determined Nedra found "everything perfect".. "this looks great"... "you are doing wonderfully and things are as they should be" results in my exam.. They will see me in 6 more months..
from one extreme to the other.. finding my normal..
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