take a deep breath...

"take a deep breath".. the words that make my heart pound.. my hands shake.. they make me a bit sick to my stomach.. "take a deep breath Mary.. I am going to biopsy a couple areas.. they look a bit strange.... could be radiation damage.. but not sure"..clearly.. calmly states the eagle eyed Dr. Grade two weeks ago..

It is hard to take a deep breath.. when you have the breath knocked out of you.. while you are trying to stay calm.. remembering that you have made promises.. to accept what ever comes your way.. to embrace it.. and fight it . and win ..

It is hard to take a deep breath.. when you are a multi level cancer survivor and if you are not getting a check up or follow up or felt up for one cancer.. you are getting a check up or follow up or felt up for the other.. but you "take a deep breath" and wait for the biopsy to be over.. feeling sick to your stomach.. remembering that you have made promises..

It is hard to take a deep breath and let it out.. you hold it.. for days.. maybe for a week .. maybe into the next week.. until they call.. and say.. benign..

"let the breath out.. Mary.. sink into the breath.. relax.. breath cool clean air deep into your lungs.. let your heart beat slow down.. your breathing slow.. wipe the tears away.. you are not fearful.. you are determined..and for this moment.. cancer free..

~ Merriam Webster Dictionary ~ Benign - of a gentle disposition : gracious . 2. a : showing kindness and gentleness b : favorable, wholesome ...