in less than a week.. I step on a track and take a first lap.. and relay...
this is my 5th year participating in the Relay for Life event in my neighborhood.... and a million light years from last year..last year I walked the survivor's lap.. the first lap.. waiting for results from a biopsy after suspicious symptoms and a frighting mammogram.. but I relayed.. with family, friends and strangers.. walking the lap being congratulated on being a survivor and wondering each step.. am I? am I a survivor again? I stepped on to the track.. frightened and worried.. unsure of myself and who I was and where I was going..when my loved ones joined me for the second lap.. it was almost too much for me.. I had to resist running to them and screaming.. am I? am I a survivor again?
what a difference a year makes..this year I step on to the track for the lap.. grateful for this journey.. sure of myself.. knowing who I am.. and what purpose I have..determined to run my race.. walk my laps and hold hands with others that do the same.. our race this year has theme laps.. zany fun ideas like a 50's, 60's lap where I can be the hippie of my youth.. pajama lap where I can be the old woman in curlers with the huge slippers..
I realize it is putting the first footprint down..I guess the first lap is the hardest in any race.. you have to find your pace.. steady your breathing.. as you put one foot in front of the other.. you have to know when to push yourself.. and when to take it slower..you have to have laps that are silly..laps that are fun..laps where you cry.. and when you are not quite sure what lap you are on... you have to have a team that yells, pushes, laughs and loves you .. one more step.. one more lap.. it is the start that is important.. and lap after lap you find your normal.. you become yourself.. the person that God has given you to be...
It seems so easy this year.. stepping on to the track.. putting one foot down... on the first lap..
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